Podcast- I am going to talk about Divorce as it relates to trauma and what that does to us.
Why do you give away so much information for free? Won’t that take away from your business?
Actually no, because I only want those that are serious about getting help, making a difference in their relationship, and working through their Betrayal Trauma. I will give you all the information and those who really want help will still call today for an appointment. Because they know just knowing what to do isn’t really the hard part. It’s the doing that’s hard. You have to work through the most painful experiences of your life, you need someone who understands and who has answers when new things come up. Only those who are willing to take time and put effort into building a better happier more connected life will read this and still call.
Well, Why would anyone listen to you?
First I have years of training in psychology, I have many certificates, I have helped hundreds of people in a variety of settings and for multiple issues but also because I have my heart in this. I have been lost and damaged by the one I loved above anyone else. I’ve had my trust smashed by the person I trusted completely, just like you. And not just once, but over and over and over for years, while I helped couples through infertility, grief, communication issues, and divorce. I have hours and days and years of reading and learning to give you. I can walk you through the abandonment, the pain of the lies, the anger that makes you wonder if cheating on them or hurting them would stop it. You are why I spend so much time still learning and getting new training. You are at the edge of that deep dark hole where your spouse threw you and I want to give you my hand to pull you out.
It is not a miracle in any way. This takes heart and perseverance. You will need to dedicate time to follow through on your goals. You will need to make yourself stand up when you want to lay down and cry. You will need to give 100% to get your life back and get the happiness back into your soul. You who can say, I am done being hurt. You out there that can feel in your gut that there is a way out of the pit of despair. This is why I only want the ones that this is speaking to, who know they can’t take any more lies, who want a better life. There is work to be done but with me you will have a guide and support.
Self Care, yes you have to start at the most basic level. You will need to stop focusing on your spouse and what they are doing. This will free up time for you to put into yourself and your healing. This is not easy or something that you just do over-night. You will most likely start and stop a few times. You will need to be reminded at times, and there will be times for your sanity that you do go ahead and look or ask something that isn’t technically on your side of the street and that is OK. You may start with small steps like not following them to work. Eventually, you will feel safe enough in yourself to not even check on them without reason. No more random panic, or ideas that don’t really make sense. You will know without using crazy-making tactics whether or not they are in recovery. You will know if your relationship is worth saving. You will be the one in control of your life and destiny.
You and I will start by making emergency boundaries to give yourself some relief from the constant anxiety surrounding your spouses’ addiction. You will need to understand how boundaries work at a rudimentary level and we will them make a plan for what you want to change. You will be in control of your life again almost immediately from day one. Control may not mean your spouse does what you want but it does mean you have a plan and know what you are doing. We will periodically evaluate and renegotiate boundaries as needed to continue your healing. By the time you are ready to get really into your beliefs, you will be completely prepared to make, negotiate, and follow through on boundaries.
I learned a huge amount from the book Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
You will need to process the pain of what your spouse has done to know what you want and how you will improve your life. To make the correct decisions you will dissect the most prominent times your spouse hurt you. I will give you the tools to make this easier and faster than you would think but it will bring up emotions you may not have realized you had. This is because many of us have to suppress how we feel to go through our everyday lives carrying these enormous loads of pain and betrayal. There will be a lot that you may not have realized impacted you, making triggers that hurt that you couldn’t identify before. You will write them all down. We will look for the root thought and follow that to what you feel and believe because of it.
You are correct, you probably didn’t. Many of the SA partners programs I have seen do not actually address the root of the pain we have. If I hadn’t had a lot of training in grief coaching and other types of coaching I probably wouldn’t go any farther either. But to change how we feel we have to change how we think. No, I am not talking about making what your partner did ok, It is not ok. They broke one of the most sacred agreements in long-term relationships. You will be walked through the deeper feelings you have about yourself based on your partners’ addiction. By having training in so many areas I am better equipped to help make permanent changes. Many programs are only trained one way and one way only. This is a mistake, in my opinion, having different backgrounds to call on gives me an advantage. Many of the Partner Coaching sites I have seen stop at boundaries, self care, and a recovery plan. I absolutely agree with these, I just think there are more steps to full recovery than that. You want real healing, you go to the source.
By doing these things and using the tools I will give you, you will make changes you may have never thought possible. You will move through the sessions making progress every week that we connect. Sometimes it will be a leap and others it may be a baby step but you will not stay stagnant. You will be moving away from that deep dark pit of pain and despair. I have never had an unsatisfied client and I never plan to. Your healing is literally my goal in life. I want to save as many others from the pit as I can. I’m reaching for you, you just have to reach back.
I completely understand, getting help is hard and when our spouses make use feel like nothing we may not feel like we deserve help. You deserve help. You did nothing wrong to cause the pain and anger and betrayal you are going through. When you can open up to the idea of healing and creating a new better life you will schedule your consultation. Again I only want clients who are really ready for a new beginning, who are done with hurting and willing to work for a better life. If you are already ready for the pain to stop and healing to begin, click the button below and schedule. Risk-free, no pressure and if you don’t come away feeling something positive, I will not ever bother you again.
I am a single person, not a large group of coaches that shares clients, I only allow myself a few weekly clients at a time. Because of this I only accept clients that really want healing. I understand that many of the other online coaching places take everyone and they just schedule with different coaches each week, which works for them, but I feel that you get the best value, healing, and partnership seeing the same coach every time. This gives you a relationship and foundation that you can’t get going from coach to coach. If you would seriously like to start rising above betrayal trauma sooner rather than later, you must act now. My regular spots really are filling up fast. And I don’t mean that in the sales way, it is the truth.
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