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How To Cope With Fear/Download

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How To Cope With Fear/Download

Partners Lies causing fear?

So you know your partner is lying and using porn. Maybe they are seeing other people or prostitutes. They may be blaming you, or how you look. They may be taking all the blame and turning it into a reason to go do more of what is hurting you.

What do you do to cope with the constant fear of being hurt again? How can you handle not knowing what they are doing while you are gone? Where are they when they are supposedly going to the store?

Sadly we won’t actually be able to know what they are doing at all times or if they will choose to do things that will cause us pain. But we do have control of ourselves. We are the ones in the driver’s seat of our lives. I know it feels like they have all the cards right now. There is the feeling that we won’t find someone else or there is no one we will feel so close to. There are good qualities about our partner that don’t just grow on trees. And the good times are so very good. But the fastest way to cope with the fear is to confront the what ifs. So here is how I recommend going about it, answer these questions:

What is really going on?

What do you do to cope with the constant fear of being hurt again? How can you handle not knowing what they are doing while you are gone? Where are they when they are supposedly going to the store?

 

We can only control our reaction

Sadly we won’t actually be able to know what they are doing at all times or if they will choose to do things that will cause us pain. But we do have control of ourselves. We are the ones in the driver’s seat of our lives. I know it feels like they have all the cards right now. There is the feeling that we won’t find someone else or there is no one we will feel so close to. There are good qualities about our partner that don’t just grow on trees. And the good times are so very good. But the fastest way to cope with the fear is to confront the what ifs. So here is how I recommend going about it, answer these questions:

How to cope with fear:

What is the WORST possible scenario?

 

What will happen to you?

 

What will it affect in your life?

 

Will you live?



Can you turn it around?



Can you grow from this experience?



If the worst thing happens, how can you make it not as bad?

Can you make it into a good thing in your life?

Who will be there for you?

Do you have support from others?

What about in 6 months if  this happens? How would your life look then?

1 yr?

5 years?

You will need to really think about this, do not allow your self doubt or your sadness about what could happen get in the way of really answering these. When you see your life WILL go on and you WILL be ok there is a lot of relief. Really taking the worst scenario of each thing that you are worried about and follow it through, you will see that, yes it will hurt and may change your life but you will move forward no matter what. You will live, and you can change your life no matter what happens.

Trauma Bonding/Podcast

Trauma Bonding Podcast Facebook Twitter Google-plus September 25, 2018Trauma Bonding from Toxic Relationship Trauma bonding …

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2 Responses

  1. […] How To Cope With Fear/Download ⋆ Rising Above Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coaching says: August 15, 2018 at 7:32 pm […]

  2. […] 35 Resources for Self Help after Discovery ⋆ Rising Above Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coaching on How To Cope With Fear/Download […]

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