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35 Resources for Self Help after Discovery

Discovery I know when we first go through discovery our emotions are everywhere. We can’t function. Our hearts and minds are torn. We don’t understand how this could happen or who this person is. This causes us to be so wrapped up in the moment we can’t go through the normal routine of our day.…
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Move Forward with These 3 Steps

Actionable Steps to Moving Forward Sometimes, when dealing with addiction and betrayal trauma, we put more effort into the other person than we do ourselves. We focus on their needs to try to keep ourselves safe. Their needs and wants take the driver’s seat to curb their addiction. We will break our own boundaries, put…
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Beginners Guide: Gaslighting

Psychological Manipulation     §§cs§§ Gaslighting is psychological manipulation. It makes people question their own sanity, memory, and perception of reality. This is emotional and psychological ABUSE.   This can come in many ways and is usually unnoticed by the victim. Until they either have it pointed out or they learn about it from another source.…
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How To Cope With Fear/Download

Partners Lies causing fear? So you know your partner is lying and using porn. Maybe they are seeing other people or prostitutes. They may be blaming you, or how you look. They may be taking all the blame and turning it into a reason to go do more of what is hurting you. What do…
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5 Things to Include In Your Parenting Plan

Parenting Plans Are for All of You §§cs§§ So parenting plans are very personal and will be different for most families but when you are co-parenting with a sex addict or porn addict there are 5 things that I believe are important to include. Some people will see these as overprotective and overbearing, but I…
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How to Create Safety in Your Marriage/To the SA

To the SA Trying to Save Their Marriage §§cs§§ All marriages recovering from infidelity of any sort have different needs than a marriage that has never had that sort of violation. There is a complete new set of expectations and beliefs that will come to bear on both partners. If there is sincere regret and…
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6 Tips To Revitalize Your Marriage

    §§cs§§ Marriage Tune-up Every marriage can use a tune-up at some point or another. There are many ways to get things moving again but these are the ones that I have found to be the fastest to make a difference. You may want to try them all at once or one at a…
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7 Relationship Rules that Save Marriages

    §§cs§§ Boundaries in Relationships Boundaries are important in any relationship but they play a vital role in our intimate relationships. This is because we become so immersed in being joined with our partner that we sometimes have a hard time knowing where we end and they begin. When we are so involved we…
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What are Daily Check Ins and Why Are They Important

§§cs§§ Why Daily Check ins? Do you ever wonder how your SA spouse is doing? Do they leave you out of the loop about their recovery? I suggest implementing a daily check in. This is a set time that you get together to talk about what is going on and how everything is working out.…
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5 Tips to Survive Your Divorce

    §§cs§§ I know that a divorce is not how everyone pictured their marriage turning out. We don’t usually go into our marriage saying I’d like to be divorced by this date. When we marry we plan to stay in that marriage, and if that isn’t possible many of us have no real idea…
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