5 Signs of Trauma Bonding
Trauma Bonding from Toxic Relationship
Trauma bonding is a term for the significant bond created when you are in a toxic relationship. It will keep you there much longer that you want to be and will give you the feeling that you may never get away. This is caused by the up and down of the relationship that gives huge bursts of endorphins. When things are good they are really good but when they are bad you can barely recognize yourself.
You Are More Invested Than They Are
1) You put in much more than they do so you can get some form of attention because they make you feel so great when they are being nice. You know there is a level of love and attachment that you have never felt with anyone else. It is not a healthy love though because of the abuse cycle.
2) They love bomb you when you are finally about to leave. This consists of overt compliments, showing you off to others, ego boosts, presents, taking you places that remind you of why you loved them in the first place, chasing you or other extreme measures. They do not just follow one path at a time so may love bomb and gaslight at the same time.
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3) You are discarded or treated like you are unimportant in between love bombings. This may come with triangulation, covert aggression, lies, gaslighting or other abusive tactics. There will most likely be times where you feel you can not take any more of the pain they cause you.
Only Give Attention When They Want Something
4) They pick you up off the ground whenever they want something but throw you back when you are no longer useful. This may be small things or large. Things like making them food or cleaning up after them become so ingrained you try to do it even when they are not there.
Break Down of Self-Esteem
5) Your self esteem is tied to how they feel about you and what they are doing. If they are love bombing you feel great, if they are discarding you feel horrible. You may not even be out of a fog when they are not around and then very focused when they are. When they are talking about or paying attention to another possible partner you feel worthless. You feel like they are the only ones that can make you feel good.
Much More to Learn
Trauma bonding can happen in any relationship that there are dramatic ups and downs. There are many situations not listed. This list is just a small beginning. Trauma Bonding has multiple facets and will cause depression, obsession and withdrawal. Over the next few weeks I plan on focusing on this topic to give an in depth understanding.
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